Experiment with yourself
When I was walking today with my dog and it just came to my mind that years ago I learned a lot in a short time by realizing how powerful a No can be. It opened door after door in myself and in my outside reality. I was afraid at that time to say No when I felt it because I was afraid that people do not like me any longer or I will loose them. It´s a pretty common feeling I guess or?
At that time I couldn´t function any more in the world like I wanted. I worked too much and had no time for myself left where I could breathe, relax or just hear my souls voice. I had already health issues that brought me to a point where I had to change something. It wasn´t easy but today I am very very thankful for that experience in my life.
I just realized that doing all things like others, runing in that circle, is not my way of being any longer.
I wanted to feel me, to explore my soul and being and being free and happy with what I am doing. I don´t say you have to change everything. Because there is also a way to learn loving what you are doing. After my last post I found out there are two ways. Doing what you love and also loving what you do. So if there is something you feel you have to do and you can´t change it right now, you can try to experiment and see if you feel better when you be in the now with it and love what you are doing right now. So there are many paths and ways to explore and learn in life! For sure.
After I realized in my experience that I have to change something it wasn´t easy to step out of the old into the New. And I wouldn´t say that you can truly step out oft he old system or matrix, how we call it often. For me it was experiencing that I create my own reality by choosing what I want or not. And therefore learning to say No was inevitable. My soul cried, I could hear that. But I needed body suffering to change my way of being. And I had to.
We are all a part oft he world. I just realized that it´s much healthier to be from it and not in it. And therefore I needed to make decisions. For myself, not against me anymore.
At that time I learned at the first time in my life to say No when I feel it. It wasn´t a kind No at first honestly. But it felt so right. I was observing myself in that process and realized how much I had fragmented myself by not going with my inner flow. And of course we are always drawn out of that sometimes. I just learned that there is a huge difference. The difference between acknowledging that I do something for or against myself in that moment. This difference made me able to choose which path I wanna follow or not.
So by learning to say No there came something with it. I also saw how much my behavior was defined by what others say or think. And when we truly look at that in honesty to ourselves it´s not an easy thing to do. But so worth it because you feel true freedom in yourself.
With all these realizations that came to me I knew I had to move into change.
Because a relization calls out a movement of your body and soul. Otherwise it´s just knowing.
Well inner knowing or wisdom is sweet fine but it brings New into the world and true wisdom by living it. How easy to say! I know that there are many thoughts in us or believes which hold us in our own cage.
Therefore I learned to experiment more with myself.
I talked to myself when I was afraid or was aware of the thougths holding me back from new experiences in life. I always wanted to „find myself“.
I learned that it takes a heart which wants to open, a mind which is used as a gift for your heart and not against yourself. A soul which wants to explore and create New.
But I was often and am often afraid. So when I know again that it´s a journey and you can experiment with your being and steps you wanna take. Then it´s much easier. You take away pressure.
You see it like a sweet game or journey and the mind can´t build so many grey scenarios around it any longer.
The mind asks: What if something changes, what if I fail? The heart says: You can only gain. Life is change, learning and experimenting. And true things always stay. So you can never loose. Look at the nature. There you find all answers.
Much love, Annika
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